Buffett Jumps on the Google Bandwagon? Color Me Skeptical.
So, Warren Buffett, the Oracle of Omaha, is now suddenly a tech bro? Berkshire Hathaway dropping $4.3 billion on GOOGL stock? Give me a break. It's like seeing your grandpa suddenly rocking a Supreme hoodie and vaping. Something just ain't right.
The "Value" Play That Doesn't Add Up
Buffett's whole schtick is value investing, right? Solid, dependable companies. Coca-Cola, American Express… stuff your grandma understands. But Google? Alphabet? This isn't your daddy's dividend stock. This is a company that's betting on freakin' self-driving cars and AI taking over the world. I mean, are we really supposed to believe that Buffett spent his weekend digging into the intricacies of TensorFlow?
And they're saying it's a "strategic bet." Strategic, my ass. It's probably one of his lieutenants, Ted Weschler or Todd Combs, who made the call. Buffett probably just signed off on it after a round of bridge.
The article says Alphabet has "dominance in online search, advertising, cloud computing…" Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. Dominance can disappear faster than you can say "disruptive innovation." Remember MySpace? Remember Yahoo? Exactly.
Regulatory Headaches and Cookie Crumbs
Oh, and let's not forget the EU breathing down Google's neck about antitrust violations. They just slapped them with a $3.4 billion fine! And Google's response? "We'll make some tweaks." Tweaks? The EU wants them to break up their AdTech business! This is like offering a band-aid to someone who's bleeding out. According to Alphabet Rejects EU’s AdTech Breakup, Offers Changes; GOOGL Stock Falls, Alphabet rejected the EU's AdTech breakup offer. This is like offering a band-aid to someone who's bleeding out.
And then there's the whole privacy thing. Google's tracking everything we do online, selling our data to advertisers… offcourse, they are. The article mentions something about "cookie settings" and "opting out of interest-based advertising." As if anyone actually believes that stuff works. It's all just window dressing to make us feel like we have control.
Speaking of cookies… I went to make myself a sandwich the other day, and the cookie jar was empty. My freakin' roommate ate all the double chocolate chip cookies, the whole bag! And didn't even bother to replace them. This is the kind of BS I have to deal with every day. It's like, people have no consideration for others. None!
Is Anyone Really Surprised?
Look, I'm not saying Alphabet is going to zero. They're probably going to keep raking in billions from ads for the foreseeable future. But this whole "Buffett suddenly loves tech" narrative is just… manufactured. It's designed to pump up the GOOGL stock price and make everyone feel like they're missing out on the next big thing.
The analysts are all saying "Strong Buy" with a price target of $312.29. Translation: "We want you to buy the stock so we can make commissions."
But wait, are we really supposed to believe these analysts are anything more than paid shills?